I always wanted to visit Paris. So I did.
I returned twice. The last time I came with a box, a single piece of luggage and a yoga mat. This story doesn't begin until I am living in Northeastern France. So here I am living, working and stared upon. Where once I could blend in and be wallpaper, here I am a warm color in a land of cool. Instantly they recognize me as “Hawaiian” and I listen to their tales of Hawai’i. It’s nice to be reminded of my Terra Firma.
Spam in Alsace
My neighbors and co-workers are kind and patient towards me. I feel cared for and protected. Being safe is paramount for me.
I employ a French language tutor. We meet for café and thé twice a week. He is an Englishmen who came here for Holiday and never returned. I think there is a story there though I dare not ask. I know in time he will divulge his past. People always do.
I know this because I am in recovery and after ten plus years of going to meetings I know three things; How to put chairs in a row, how to make coffee and how to read people. I’m not good at the first thing they teach you in meetings, which is to be quiet and listen. Living in an English speaking city I talked over people and spoke loudly. I listen to people now; I don’t talk over them because I need to hear the whole conversation to understand what others are speaking. In France I was able to be quiet, to quiet the mind was another story.
If you noticed I do not name him. Primarily because he will be editing this story and does not want to be mentioned. I told you there was a story there.
He graciously attends an A.A. meeting with me and explains the fuzzy details later. I ask him if he will escort me again and he said he will think about it. I go alone from then on. Oh the irony of A.A. in wine country.
I still see my tutor off and on. He really did help me on my journey in France. I’m thankful that I found him. Now did I type that or did he rewrite that?
Vie quotidienne
My neighbor plays the accordion as I practice yoga. Unable to center myself I give up and watch reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond” with my landlady. My landlady, Johanna, has lived here all her life. She says she is going to save my rent money and travel to America. It will be her first time to the States. She wants to see Oprah and stand in front of the “Today” show window. She likes my paintings so I immediately take a liking to her. Johanna’s son, Paul, loves American baseball. He keeps me updated on how the Red Sox are doing.
After talking to Johanna and Paul I make my way back to my room. I shut the door and listen. No accordion noise. I turn on my laptop and listen to DMB. Maybe I can catch a DMB performance in Europe? I immediately check and see their upcoming tour dates. December dates in Brazil, April in Australia. In January they are playing in New Orleans, Louisiana. I ponder a New Year’s trip. Then I remember a trip back in 2014 is out of the question. Maybe in the Spring, as I thaw out, DMB will play Europe? Instead I listen to their 2009 Europe box set. The song “Two Step” clocks in at 18:45. I don’t trust a “Two Step” song under 15 minutes. It’s perfect to yoga to and that is exactly what I do.
I switch poses and listen to my favorite band. Time truly does stop as I’m on my mat.
This isn’t the mat I brought from home. I bought a new one while I lived in Paris, my first month here. A new life meant a new mat.
Dusk begins and after a shower I eat dîner. I eat early. It’s the ex-Pat in me.
I face time my sister. Its 12 hours behind in Honolulu. My niece babbles and is cooing. Seeing the two of them makes me miss home. I tell everyone that I’ll be home before my visa expires.
I check my fantasy football team before heading off to bed.
I dream of a warm place.
I wake up to the sound of an accordion. It’s 4 AM and my neighbor is playing the accordion. I smile. Dawn begins. I tell myself that I should paint before going to work. I eat a granola bar and paint. Paul knocks on the door. I paint and he watches while eating his breakfast. He nods in approval and leaves for work. I do the same half an hour later. At work, I stare at a computer screen and move the computer mouse around.
My screen saver is a photo of my favorite beach on Kaua’i, Poʻipū Beach. I lie on my back in a tide pool and watch the clouds. Calm water glides over my ears. It is a silent noise in the foreground contrasted with the booming sound of the break in the background. All my senses are calm as I bask in the light which radiates off my skin. When I dream this is my warm place.
