- I like to drink Hawaii coffee and take a nap because I am a serial killer.
- Hawaii coffee checkbox yes, Hawaii coffee checkbox no.
- Hawaii Coffee, Pastry, Sour Candy and Tajín, and Something Umami. Or Hawaii Coffee, Pastry, Sour Candy, Mushroom, and Hawaii Chili Pepper Water.
- A book about Hawaii coffee so I can afford my coffee
problemexploration. - An electric blue mustang convertible in Kealakekua.
I was told by my high school junior year English teacher that I should not include pictures in an essay that I turned in. I included a wave photo from a surf magazine. It's now 2025. A long way from high school. The surf magazine is probably defunct or on its last hard copy voyage. I can’t recall if it was Surfer or Surfing Magazine. If it is the later than it is defunct. Here are some photos I would like to include in my essay.
You know. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. Yet here I am typing this on my phone using html code because I want the font to be larger. I was supposed to meet Brook and her family in February. A neighbor island trip to Kona. Saw a photo of an Airbnb boat land locked in the jungle and said to myself, “I’m in love.” It was love, it is love. Love changes you and will break your heart. It’s nice to know that at the age of 45 a girl can still fall in love.
She stands in front of a college auditorium about to start a slide show presentation or whatever new technology exists that will show visuals. “This is the chemical structure of cocaine. This is the chemical structure of coffee. This is a MRI human brain image of prolong pure cocaine use. This is a MRI image of prolong coffee consumption”. 7 gurneys are wheeled in or if she wanted to be dramatic the bodies rise up on platforms from the ground. “These are corpses. This test subject snorted pure cocaine until they overdosed. This test subject was injected with coffee until they died. Both test subjects willingly overdosed. As you can see they were identical twins. These are their brains that were removed from their bodies.” She goes on and on with her lecture. A hand in the audience raises. “Yes”
“What are in the unzipped body bags”?
She walks over to one of the body bags marked sleep.
“This is a person who died of sleep deprivation. Notice what their brain looks like”. The corpse is not a twin. She walks over to another body bag and unzips it. “This person had Alzheimer’s before they died”. She unzips another body bag. “This person was a professional football player turned professional wrestler who had Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy or CTE. Notice what their brains all look like”
There are similarities, differences, grey matter, holes, and sadness when you look at these brains. It doesn’t look real. The scents emitted from the corpses ground you to reality. Rotted fish and feces. She opens a very large tumbler and drinks from it. The smell of coffee fills her nostrils and she continues with the lecture.
There are two unzipped body bags left. One to the far left and the other to the far right. She starts to sing “Teru teru bōzu” because the song creeps her out and Clockwork Orange already took “Singing in the Rain”. Maybe she will learn to play “My Little Grass Shack in Kealakekua Hawaii” and sing that in a future lecture. On cue the bodies in the two unzipped body bags rise. On cue someone by the light switch starts turning the light switch on and off. The body bags are still zipped and whatever is inside the body bags are standing on top of the gurneys. I love this part. The body bags start running around the auditorium. The lights are no longer being switched on and off. It’s dark. People are screaming. Cell phone lights are being used and you see people rushing to exit the door.
てるてるぼうず、てるぼうず (Teru-teru-bōzu, teru bōzu) Teru-teru-bozu, teru bozu
明日天気にしておくれ (Ashita tenki ni shite o-kure) Make tomorrow a sunny day
それでも曇って泣いてたら (Sorete mo kumotte naitetara) But if the clouds are crying
そなたの首をちょんと切るぞ (Sonata no kubi wo chon to kiru zo) Then I’ll sever your head off
You can’t do this type of lecture more than once. But if you do it right once then once is all you need. She and company didn’t do it right so this is the third time it has been performed. An appalled traumatized audience member, from the first lecture, is suing her and she has been banned from the other two colleges. She still stands in front of the auditorium coffee tumbler in hand. The two bodies that were in the body bags have unzipped themselves. Meet twin three and twin four. Gasp! They were quadruplets.
….no sane person would do this stunt in front of their dead xerox copy sibling.
They were not quadruplets. They were twins. Still alive. Overdosed twins are fake. Good fakes. Expensive fakes.
“Coffee?” she says to the twins and remaining audience members. It’s the good stuff. She picked the cherries and roasted it herself because she doesn’t trust (insert region) coffee farmers or (insert plant) farmers or (insert) in general.
This segment of the book is dedicated to (insert). Especially the part where I wrote: “Good fakes. Expensive fakes”.
+++++
Ke kalo pākē ke’oke’o.
Ka līkao ke’oke’o.
How do you say The White Lotus in Hawaiian?
Sunday, April 6th 3:57 PM: She. Not the college lecturer she, another she. She had 8 episodes to get her act together. 8 Sunday’s to order Thai food and watch The White Lotus. Oh, well. What remains of the “Death Wish” coffee in her system and future consumption of cheese and crackers will have to do. Thai food and Thai coffee tomorrow if possible.
“They bleeping lost to the Buffalo Sabers”, she says to herself. Okay. How are the Red Sox doing? Holy Crap.
The photo below is “enlarged to show detail” like the 311 (band) film. Life can continue.
