O ʻoe hoʻokahi ku'u lā hulali

I'm writing this with allergies. I'm either allergic to diet pepsi or from the dust that was on the makeshift face mask bandana that I was using (or due to the weather). Naturally I think I'm now affected. Goodbye cruel world. Tell Tom Nook to suck it I ain't paying him jack. Seriously though, this is what I want to talk about...

Sobriety. On Sunday (since 4.5.03) I will be celebrating 17 years of sobriety. It's a blessing, it's a curse, it's a lifestyle, it's a love song, it's everything and nothing, "It's my life it's now or never I ain't gonna live forever I just want to live while I'm alive" and it's Bon Jovi/Richie Sambora/and Max Martin. One day at a time, One time at a day. Thank you for this sober life. I am blessed and grateful.

When panic buying I did think about stocking up on alcohol. But I didn't buy it. I think it's just natural to think these things. I saw the prices and thought, "this is how much I paid for this?" How did I afford this? If you are struggling with being sober right now. You are not alone, you are never alone. Find a group and know that others are rowing along right with you.

This is what I get for not drinking soda for two weeks. Blimey. I hope you are prospering and living well...as well as you can be during an apocalypse.  I love you and play this at my funeral. I love letting it shine and 'When the Saints go marching in'. Hi, Kaʻuiki.

I had a great sober birthday. Might not have another birthday so I celebrated like a queen. Living my best life, suck it.

4.5.2020. Still Here, mf-ers.

  

What just happened? - a journal entry

The game started at 9 AM here. I've had 6 hours to process the end result. I am still raw. I think I might need another headache relief pill. I just need to cry and I'll be fine. I didn't openly weep in front of Marchand, yet. So I have that to look forward to. I watched WWE's "Blacklash" pay-per-view after the game. I thought, "I wonder if Jimmy Hayes is in the audience?" I watched Backlash with my three headed Mr. S items still facing the TV. Thank you to those who decided that Seth Rollins and Jeff Hardy should win their respectful bouts. Though it only dawned on me, half an hour ago, that it was Jeff Hardy that I saw win and not Broken Matt Hardy. See, I'm still in a haze. I also forgot my phone password and ATM code. Completely sober, just trying to come back to earth.

@brian5or6 (6 PM 5/6/2018) When I looked at the moon this evening, I whispered “Zdeno Chara”. I turned to go back in until I saw the moon drop one single tear #NHLBruins

Do you know how bad I am? I'm watching exit locker room interviews. I have to do this now.  I can't wait a week from now it will be worse then. Deal with this now so that I can move on. Fandom teaches you so much about love. I have a big heart especially for you, Dobs.

Khudobin please re-sign. They are going to win the cup next year and that makes me happy. Glass half-full. Thank you boyzzzzz, Thank you so much. Go Bruins!

INFINITE POTENTIAL. Always.




*****
Sobriety is a never ending process*
After the game I was texting my friend and I thought to myself, "I think I want a virgin lava flow". Which I don't want at all (sober: 15 years, 1 month and a day) and the darn thing doesn't even have alcohol in it. But neurotic me doesn't trust the bartenders enough to clean their equipment correctly/waitstaff to not remember to get me a virgin item. Then I guess I have to make one myself.  I just looked up a recipe for the drink. Yeah, it doesn't look so appetizing anymore. I live near a fruit boba tea place and I think I'll just go there tomorrow.

I went on Fanatics.com after the game and bought hockey cards, a Bruins shirt that may not arrive in time for my Mother's Day afternoon tea date and Bruins drink umbrellas. Which I hope doesn't make me a bad sober person. I have no idea what I'm going to use these umbrellas for. Stupid emotional roller coaster of emotions buying impulsive items. Insert swearing. Bleeping, eh I have to attend a meeting.

*As it damn well should be and it's a beautiful process with beautiful results.

I go to sleep listening to Denis Leary

This video makes me laugh every time. I don't know who I love more in this video. https://www.nhl.com/bruins/video/karate-kid/t-277463854/c-41116203 

@denisleary  Sep 21 (2017)
#TBT quote from 1988: "When the going gets tough, Cam Neely beats the shit outta somebody and scores the game winner." @CamNeelyFdn #CCH23

***
11.6.2017 P.S.  I've been sober 14 years, 7 months and a day. Suck it.

It's true, it's true...

It was a Shinsuke Saturday and a Shinsuke Smackdown (I cried). A Sale and Sandy León Wednesday. Keep it up boys: No mercy. The Celtics and Boston Bruins made the playoffs. Gronk was in WrestleMania 33. I think that was part three of the Superbowl (Part One: Cena vs. AJ during the 2017 Royal Rumble and then the actual Superbowl LI). 

I gave the toddler 24 Red Sox goodie bags, to pass out, and two Boston books for the classroom. Boston Red Sox 101 by Brad M. Epstein which I seriously want to buy for myself. The other book was Hello Boston! by Martha Zschock. Which was adorable. I wish I could have added more stuff in the goodie bags. It contained a Red Sox pencil, a MLB pencil, a MLB swirly straw and a bag of fruit chews. Fruit chews which expire in three months. All housed in a goodie bag that looks like a Red Sox jersey. I suppose the most important thing was that there were enough bags to go around. I initially bought these Boston Red Sox printed sunglasses, but they were too big for toddlers. It only dawned on me now that I should have added baseball cards to the bags. Oh, well. Go Red Sox! Off to watch Wrestlemania 33 again. 

***** 
Today marks 14 years of sobriety. Unbelievable. Thank you, Higher Power. I just want to dance. Thank you for making it possible.

2,017 reasons to be happy

and many more. Happy New Year. Be safe. 

I hope to start The Diary of Anne Frank in the next day or two. I'm going to pretend that the firework bombs I hear is the resistance. 

I've been sober for 5,018 days. 13 years, 8 months and 25 days. One day at a time. Thanks Higher Power.

I keep telling myself to write about my sobriety

Sober date 4.5.2003. I've been sober 13 and a half years. It's a process and a beautiful struggle.

Just make it through the day in a functional humanoid constructive way.

On my calendar I have an alarm every fifth day of the month. It says, "sobriety rules".  It does indeed. I reckon I must attend a meeting before the month ends. I'll keep you updated.

My Happy Sober Birthday

13 years, ya dig?
And the Red Sox won.
You can't ask for anything more.  Thank you.

"We went 2-0.  We won the game and we won the fight. You usually don't go 2-0 in a game". - Kevin Millar. I think that's the quote. I have to watch the 2004 Sox documentary again to make sure.

Sobriety isn't for pussies

I used to have that as my fifth day of the month calendar reminder. Now I have 'Sobriety Rules'. It seems less in your face. But, I reckon' you need in your face to trek out of the void. Sobriety rules, sobriety blows. I don't require the reminder but it is nice to have. A whisper to continue the push towards the never-ending finish line.

Go to meetings, talk to someone, don't drink, don't drink and don't drink. It is hard and you need people in your life who understand that. You need stability, you need yourself right now.

Don't give up. If you fall off. Get back up and get back on the wagon.

4.5.03 is my sober date. I gave up alcohol for Lent and never looked back. I sometimes think I can go back. But, I don't want to. I don't want to be that person I used to be.

I count my blessings, attend meetings and embarked on a steps tour. The later didn't go so well. I've wronged too many people and I don't want to apologize to them. It seems daunting, but Higher Power please help me.  That is my problem; I begrudgingly apologize. You have to apologize wholeheartedly and I was not able to do that.  Grudges were still held. "C'mon, I have to apologize to this person?" Hands crossed over my chest, pout-pout face.

Oh, well.

It's not easy sailing. Even 12 years in. With the Will and Grace of God, things are achievable. Oh, my Cher!

***
A drunk is a drunk, is a drunk, say's the drunk. Don't be a drunk. I think more people don't drink, than drink. In this case do be the norm. I fear sometimes, I'll die by being run over by a beer truck. Some people hope to die that way.  Not this sober chick.  Tweet, tweet.

Halloween Rainstorm

5 Influenced/Inspired songs, for today:

• I can't help falling in love, "Enamusika" rendition - on youtube.
• Give Me Love, Santana
• Photograph, Ed Sherran (Over this song? Have you heard the Brooklyn Duo cover?)
• I'm Ok, You're OK by MxPx
• California Love, Tupac RIP

I was watching "Breaking Dawn, pt 2" on FX this morning. A commercial came on with I Can't Help Falling In Love playing and it made me cry.  I think the advertisement was selling gum, of all things. If I had my act together, this Halloween, I would have watched a Twilight marathon. Then again I pledge allegiance to the U- 'verse, so it's a good thing I don't have my act together.  I do have my act together in eating pizza and watching sports today.  

Property porn take three:

• 1358 Page Road, Nashville TN

Tuscan influence architecture.  Massively expensive, priced at 18 million. I can watch the drone video and dream. The entrance reminds me of Downton Abbey. 

• The Ossorno House 913 Gov. Nicholls St, French Quarter - NOLA, LA
• 1721 Redesdale Ave. Silver Lake, CA

***
It's been two hours since game 5. Very happy for the Royals with their win tonight. I slept for four hours last night. Happy Halloween. See you in November.

I have been sober - 12 years, 6 months and 16 days. 

"Breaking the Girl"

I have been sober for 12 years and 4 months.

It is not just a set of numbers, to me it is everything.

I requested Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star from a guitarist

I smell like a particular sunblock and I think that is divine. I also ate two different pizza flavors and I think that is divine as well. One was veggie pesto and the other was greek. Yum! Off to read a comic book and play a video game.

12 years, 1 month and 11 days sober.  Now that is mega-divine.

12

I'm tired of my flower photos, too. However I couldn't resist this shot.  I call them my sober roses. It also looks like lettuce to me, but that is neither here nor there.

My sobriety = 11 years and 22 days.